When acceptance that one path has ended and a new one begins, is combined with the courage, to overcome the fear of letting go, we enter into a state of surrender and into a whole new world, where magical opportunities await.
Do you feel like you’re stuck? Like you’re in a situation where you stopped growing, stopped learning, stopped progressing? Do days pass where you feel unfulfilled or feel like you’re being suppressed? I found myself living a life where I felt this way. I stayed stuck in jobs, in relationships and in situations that were painful, that were unfulfilling, and that suppressed my growth…why? Because I feared the unknown and the uncertainty, I preferred the familiarity of the stale, painful existence that was my life.
Many of us want to change but fear moving into the unknown. We may consciously or unconsciously hold onto old negative patterns that are keeping us stuck, that are oppressing us, that are dulling our light. We do this because it is what we know, it is what is familiar to us. Despite the discontent these patterns produce internally, the familiarity of them is a source of comfort that becomes a dependence. The choice to change can be terrifying even when we know these changes could be positive. Bringing in positive new patterns means letting go of the old, of the familiar and of the debilitating comfort.
In my early twenties I would often find myself trapped by my ego. I was content with staying right where I was. I was ok with pulling the covers over my head and refusing any light trying to get in. I was more than happy to hide behind my old negative patterns, behind my victimhood, and I tolerated the pain of my stale existence. I would much rather escape my pain than heal it. However, one day the pain of staying stuck was more unbearable than the fear of moving forward. My soul was dying, I knew my time was up.
At this time in my life my main coping mechanism was a drink. When I decided to get sober I was terrified. I had numbed myself for so long I was scared to feel. A part of me was terrified of to feel free. A part of me was terrified to wake up because I knew it would mean I would have to become aware, I would have to not only look at the pain and hurt but I would have to accept it and let it go. I knew in letting go of my pain I would need to create something new and, the fear and uncertainty of that terrified me. I wasn’t ready to let it all go.
I deeply mourned within because I knew in making this choice of changing my old patterns, I would have to let go of more than just my drinking habits. I knew that by getting sober I would have to change. I would need to become accountable and take responsibility for myself, I would need to love and respect myself and, I would need to set new boundaries that honoured my needs. I knew in doing this it would change my relationships, my activities, my hobbies, and the events and places I went to. I knew I could no longer make excuses for myself, nor excuse other people’s treatment towards me. I knew it would require me to activate a new courage, one I’ve never practiced before, each and every day.
At times when I would think about all of this my breath would escape me and I’d feel paralyzed by fear of the uncertainty and unknown. But every second, every minute, every hour of every day I consciously chose to have courage to face my fear and to move through it, sometimes slowly but with each passing moment, I began to let go of the old and began to build the new. I began to listen to the tiny voice inside of me that was begging me to be free. It knew of my magnitude and wanted to be broken open so it could explore and create and receive all the magical abundance that was waiting for me. I began to listen to the voice that kept asking me to move, to take action and to love.
I soon became aware that it was more than just my drinking; it was my job, my relationships, my daily routine, my diet, my thought patterns. I couldn’t tackle it all at once so I took down one demon at a time. Getting sober allowed me to think clearly, it provided me with the tools and support to tackle the not so obvious soul sucking demons that lurked in the dark. By making one difficult decision and seeing that I could not only survive it but thrive in the new world it created for me I was able to confidently make other difficult changes. I set new boundaries for myself which forced me to set new standards.
These new boundaries and new standards forced me to leave very significant relationships behind that prevented my growth and to leave a stable well-paying job that left me feeling unfulfilled. I began to travel and see places I always dreamed of. I allowed myself to live, I allowed myself to heal, I allowed myself to be loved, I allowed myself to be powerful, I allowed myself to be free. These choices have brought me to where I am now: a journey I am fulfilled by, a journey that nourishes my soul and fills my heart with gratitude, all because I had the courage to let go.
I invite you take a moment and pause to imagine a life you dream of.
What is keeping me from living the life I want and deserve? What belief, beahviour, emotional habit has been getting in the way? What’s the story? What is the conflict inside of me?
What changes do I have to make to fulfill that life? What changes do I need to make in order to move forward? What changes am I in control of?
I ask you to be open to transforming old negative patterns into life affirming ones. Having the courage to change comes down to overcoming the fear of letting go. The key to letting go is to develop courage along with acceptance. When acceptance that one path has ended and a new one begins, is combined with the courage, to overcome the fear of letting go, we enter into a state of surrender and into a whole new world, where magical opportunities await.
Make yourself a list of things you can take action on. You don’t have to tackle it all in one day. Start small and slowly it will come together. Don’t worry about how you will arrive, just stay connected to the voice that wants to move forward and it will guide you.